Patric Gagne is a sociopath, and in her memoir of the same title she shares her experience growing up knowing she was different but not understanding why. From a very young age Gagne knew she wasn't the same as other children because she didn't feel guilt, shame or empathy. Raised in a wealthy neighbourhood in California, Gagne was mean to other children, lied, stole, snuck out at night to stalk neighbours and trespassed in their homes even as a young girl. Without fear to stifle her desires, she engaged in very risky behaviour that was hard to listen to at times.
Sociopath - A Memoir by Patric Gagne is a reflective novel about the author's continual struggle to resist her urges and relieve the pressure building inside her to do bad things. I was surprised that her willingness to be open about her transgressions didn't extend to sexual development and she doesn't mention any sexual activity in her memoir. Perhaps this was a conscious choice for her family's sake as Gagne is now married with a family, which isn't a spoiler by the way. That aside, when a person is open enough to admit doing physical harm to another and genuinely doesn't care what other people think, surely a little sexual promiscuity - if indeed there was any - isn't that bad by comparison?
Later in life Gagne learns about sociopathy and begins a lifelong desire to understand everything she can about it. She reads all the information she can get her hands on in the library and her study continues well into her adulthood living in Los Angeles. After noticing a serious lack of information and resources for sociopaths seeking help, Gagne decides she will help her own kind and embarks on a pathway studying clinical psychology, eventually earning a PhD in clinical psychology by examining the relationship between sociopathy and anxiety.
Gagne points out that sociopaths comprise around 5% of the population and includes discussions held with her therapist and lecturers in a years long reflection on her struggle to understand and accept herself.
Working full time in the music industry as a manager while studying, Gagne kept herself busy to limit opportunities to do bad things, however repeated examples of what seemed like a lavish lifestyle - including a reference to attending a party at the Playboy mansion - made this reader's eyes roll. I accept that wanting to understand people from all walks of life doesn’t just mean those with less than you, it also means people with more than you, but I certainly felt that well and truly on display here. Ultimately though, after finishing her memoir, I am left feeling grateful for all Gagne has contributed to the field of sociopathy.
I recommend Sociopath - A Memoir by Patric Gagne for readers who think they might be a sociopath or those who have one in their family, work or friend circle. While interested in the topic of sociopathy, psychopathy and anti-social personality disorders, I wasn't expecting such a deep and protracted look at one patient's struggle to deal with her condition.
