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| Published October 2020 RRP $24.99AUD |
Today I'm giving away a copy of How To Break Up With Friends - From Friendsh*t to Friendsplit by Australian Neuropsychologist Dr Hannah Korrel. This is a guide to ditching crappy companions and I found a few hard truths in this little gem. Dr Korrel does a great job of explaining what a good friend is, how to set boundaries, highlighting misnomers about friendship and telling us how to let go of toxic friendships.
The most powerful lesson for me were the four elements of friendship: trust, support, affection and respect. I was able to assess previous friendships and immediately identify which of these elements were lacking and how it ultimately resulted in a drifting away or ending of the friendship.
In pointing out the reasons we hang on to friends who don't treat us well, I'd have liked Korrel to include fear of losing a shared history and the fact many of us maintain friendships for sentimental reasons.
I have to say I didn't enjoy the endearments throughout the text (friend, dear reader, bud, baby etc), but I expect that's my age talking.
The exercises and reflections were very useful although I found myself writing additional break up messages. The suggested break up messages seemed a little too 'safe' for my liking. I wanted to see suggestions like: '...you continue to disrespect me and I just don't think our friendship is working out.' Besides, after going to the trouble to lay down boundaries, why not explain precisely why you've decided to end the friendship? Making excuses that you don't have the time or effort to invest in the friendship sounds like a cop out to me. It might be handy in some situations but surely some friends deserve to hear the truth.
The approach: "I can't discuss this right now, I need to deal with my mental health," is completely foreign to me and again, I suspect I'm showing my age as a Generation X reader.
Readers who have experienced friendship or relationship problems in the past may gain additional insight into where it all went wrong by reading How To Break Up With Friends by Dr Hannah Korrel.
For those who have never confronted a friend over their poor behaviour and have felt powerless to stop friends treating them badly, this is a must read! It will empower you to ditch your toxic friend and re-invest that time somewhere else.
Enter below for your chance to win a copy.
Enter below for your chance to win a copy.
BLURB
We all have that one friend.The one who expects the world, but never remembers your birthday. The one who constantly ditches your dinner plans when you’re already halfway to the restaurant. The one who leaves you feeling exhausted, used and completely emotionally battered.
Why do we let these people into our lives? When is their friendship actually friend-shit? How do we dump these crappy companions?
This is the no-bullshit, essential guide for anyone devoting their precious time and energy into maintaining friendships with toxic friends. Using activities, truth bombs, and real-life examples, neuropscyhologist Dr Hannah Korrel will help you to identify the bad friends in your life, understand what true friendship should look like, learn how to attract the best people, and become the best friend you can be yourself.
GIVEAWAY
This giveaway has now ended.
Thanks for a very insightful review Tracey. I agree with you on the points you made and I also think it’s an age thing. Age and experience makes a big difference how we make and keep friendships. I have kept some ‘friendships’ way too long on the basis of shared history. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of that ‘remember when’ aspect.
ReplyDeleteThanks Veronica, you're so right! I wish I'd read this 20 years ago.
DeleteCould be very useful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary and I can see you've entered the giveaway so good luck!
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